I can't believe my little baby boy turns 4 tomorrow. So many mixed feelings. I wish I could stop time. I keep asking my husband: can they just stay babies??. He keeps answering: haha, you say that every year.
I love every year. I love every stage in his life. I love to watch him grow, but I hurt when I watch him grow as well. I realize that nothing can stop time. Nothing can make an hour longer, a minute longer, a second longer. All I can really do is become a good stewardess of those hours, minutes and seconds that have been given to me, cause they ain't comin back ;). I keep trying to stay focused on this fact. To be intentional about the time spent with him reading, creating, painting, snuggling and playing. This is a hard task when mama is tired and worn out. When all the brain wants to do is shut down. However, the heart beats stronger and louder as a friendly reminder that there's someone that is being nourished, strengthened and loved, whose roots are growing longer and deeper with every hug, kiss, compliment and minute of attention that I can offer.
I love you, Josias. I'll spend the rest of my life doing my very best to prove it to you.